Whoever said “there is a fine line between love and hate” was on to something. We see it all the time, two people who were madly in love, somewhere stumbled and are now getting a divorce. As you may have already figured out, those loving days are gone, and not only are they gone, but that love has been replaced, in a lot of cases, with resentment. You may find yourself in the position of having a spouse who will do anything to win in court. So, what do you do when you are going through a divorce with a spouse who will do anything to win? What shouldn’t you do? How do you find the right help? In this blog, we provide tips for individuals that have difficult spouses, things to do (and don’t do), and how to find the right help for your case.
When it comes to dealing with difficult spouses, the first thing to remember is to practice civility towards the other person. This may seem cheesy to say, but at times it can be extremely hard in practice, especially when you are dealing with a spouse who will do anything to “win.” Time and time again individuals let emotions take control in these types of situations. And time and again, those individuals who let emotions take control end up regretting it, and sometimes result in negative consequences (whether that be less parenting time or a bigger share of the marital pot). Lastly, acting civil towards the other person will help you move on and let go of those ill feelings, creating a healthier situation for you in the long run.
The next tip to remember when dealing with a difficult spouse is to set reasonable expectations about the outcome of your case. Again, while this may be easy to say, it can be extremely hard in practice, especially when dealing with a difficult spouse. However, having a willingness to compromise will go a long way to relieve some of the stress on you. Rarely does either spouse get everything they want. Thus, setting realistic expectations can help prevent some of the court battles that many go through fighting for everything they want. Most importantly, setting realistic expectations will help you start moving on with your life instead of holding on to the past.
Finally, if you have children with your spouse, it is important to remember to refrain from putting them in the middle of your divorce. Many times, during the pendency of a divorce, people will use their children as a way to hurt the other person. Parents do this all the time, whether it be a refusal to let the other parent see the child, take the child to a game, or see them on a holiday. The best advice we can provide on this point is to refrain from involving your children in your disputes. Instead of trying to “stick it to the other person,” be kind, allow the other parent to be a part of the child’s life during the pendency of the divorce. This will go a long way with the Court.
Divorces are emotional times for all involved. Not only are they emotional, but often time complex. Obtaining skilled counsel is key to relieving some of the burdens that come with divorce, especially when dealing with a difficult spouse. This blog was written by attorneys at Ciyou & Dixon, P.C. who handle divorces of all types throughout the state. It is written and posted for general educational purposes and is not to be construed as legal advice or solicitation for services. It is an advertisement.